Hope is getting seeds for your winter garden in the dead of summer.
You’ve got to believe the world will keep spinning to plant something.
Joyful Moments #202
I’ve been tracking my joyful moments for the last two years. Every time I have a little pocket of happiness or a moment of fun, I call it out for what it is. It’s a joyful moment sandwiched in between my ordinary and sometimes stressful life. I had my 202nd joyful moment this week. I made a frog cake. The Accountant told me it also looks like a green ghost. I borrowed a frog pan from the cake pan collection at the public library. I got all the ingredients for the cake and looked up on the internet how to make frosting. (Sorry, Mom. I know you taught me how to make frosting, but I forgot the recipe.) He was a happy frog until we started eating him. Then he was just a pile of crumbs.
Life is hard. There are many, many problems in the world. It’s easy to get down and worried about things. If I didn’t count the joyful moments, I wouldn’t even see them. I’d miss the joy of recognizing the pockets of fun that are in my life.
“Joy is strength.” –Mother Teresa
Dear Cousin
This post is for my cousin (the rest of my dear friends can read it if they want).
Dear Cousin,
I’m sorry that you’re having a rough time. It’s hard to feel alone and afraid. I wish I could tell you that I had a magic wand to zap all the sorrows away in your life. Believe me, if I had one of those wands I’d use it on myself and then I’d share it with you. I don’t have a magic wand and I don’t fully understand what you are going through today. I don’t, because I’m not you. I do understand my feelings though. In the spirit of wishing for a magic wand, I’m going to be honest with you and hopefully the openness will help you feel a little less alone.
I’ve struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. It’s always in the background like a big cyclops ready to attack. I’ve named it Sally. Sally is rather annoying and has caused more stomach aches and insomnia than I wish to admit. I’ve done counseling, medication, yoga, exercise, fresh air, various vitamins, scripture reading, trying to make a deal with God that I’ll be really righteous if he just makes me normal, prayers, 12-step groups for people with anxiety issues, several rounds of 40 days of meditation exercises every morning, given up certain foods and a bunch of other stuff. And guess what? Sally is still there. Sally is like the annoying neighbor. She might stop pestering me for a while, but she still knows where I live. Her annoyance is lessened by all the good things I do, but Sally is still there. I know she is and she waits until I’ve had a bad day to come out and tease me. That’s what is so hard about the stuff that goes on in heads. You can lessen the effects but in some ways it’s still there, because it’s part of you. You live. You breathe. You fall flat on your face. You conqueror and sometimes the success is the gold medal and sometimes the success is that you are here breathing through the mess. I don’t know if this makes any sense to you, dear cousin. I guess what I’m trying to say is this. You aren’t alone. You’ve got friends and family who love and care about you. Friends who have struggled themselves and want to help you. Keep trying. Keep going. If you have a day that you’re in bed, it’s okay. Tomorrow will be better and it’s a new day. The world is a good place, because you’re in it with us. Call me if you need to chat.
Love,
Amee
“The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best”. – Henry van Dyke
Time Travel
Every time I eat beets, I think about being five years old and eating dinner at Grandma Adams’ house. It’s amazing how food can act like a time machine.
Where do you travel when you eat certain foods?
My Trip to Europe
Last Friday, I decided I needed one of those under the computer desk exercise bikes. I spent an hour researching them on the internet. I asked around and found a friend who had one I could borrow so I could try it out. I was so excited when I placed it under my desk at work. I imagined that I was bicycling through Europe instead of grading all the assignments kids wait to the last-minute to give to their teacher. The bike even made a fun clanking sound that sounded like a bass drum. I imagined that I was a rock singer with that clanking sound instead of grading late work.
I had a great time and pedaled for hours as I graded and graded. I loved it! This was the best way to get exercise. It made the time go by so fast and I loved it! Then I got off the bike. I walk funny now. My legs are so sore.
I probably should have heeded the warning label about starting off any new exercise routine slowly. At least, I got to go to Europe out of this adventure.
I got my sticker.
Once upon a time there was a little girl who loved stickers. She collected them and put them in a book. It was election day. The little girl’s mother packed up all of her children and took them with her while she voted. There was a mean lady named Linda working at the polls. Linda had short black hair, large silver glasses and a purple dress with green flowers printed on it. She gave the little girl’s mother a voting sticker but she didn’t give the girl a sticker. Of course, the little girl never forgot. Thirty-three years later, she thinks about how she didn’t get a sticker every time she votes.
She thinks about the issues too.
The Conversation
They were the perfect seats in the room. I was right in the middle of the second row. I could easily see the stage and hear the speaker. This was going to be an amazing presentation. I had the perfect seat. That is until I had to use the bathroom.
Is the glass half empty or half full? ” asked the speaker.
That’s when the trouble started for me.
“Who cares? I just need to use the bathroom,” said my body.
“Be quiet, body. I paid good money for this conference. I’m not going anywhere,” said my brain.
“Let’s all be more positive, ” said the speaker.”
“I’m positive I have to go to the bathroom right now, ” screamed my body.
“Just cross your legs. You’ll be fine. Besides, you are on the second row. Do you really want to walk all the way to the back of the room in front of all these people? People will stare at you, “said my brain.
And so the conversation went on between my head and my body for the next five minutes. I wish I could tell you what the speaker was saying. I don’t remember.
Who won?
I think you know. Sometimes it really doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full.
The Great Big Political Secret
As young 14 year old kid, my candidate did not become President. I was devastated. My wails could be heard all over the house. I knew the world was coming to an end as soon as the President-Elect was sworn into office. (I was a dramatic teen. If you don’t believe me, just ask my brothers.) Eventually, my Dad came into the room to comfort me. He told me, “Amee, I’m going to let you in on a big adult secret.” Of course, I stopped crying. I was 14 and I loved the idea of knowing a grown up secret. Dad told me that sometimes his candidate won and sometimes they didn’t win. He told me that the world kept on spinning either way. He felt that what happened in our house probably mattered more than what happened in the White House. The important thing was to make your community a better place, vote your conscience, work with others for the good of everybody and not be a brat to people who don’t vote like you vote. It was a good lesson then. It’s a critical lesson now.
Dad, you’re a wise man. I’d vote for you for President. Mom, you’re also amazing. I’d vote for you too.
“It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.” –Eleanor Roosevelt
Goodbye Harry
Today Harry the Laundry Basket died and went to laundry basket heaven. This laundry basket is about twenty years old. It’s been to college, on road trips, lived in many different houses and had all kinds of adventures. It’s one old laundry basket ,and it was completely falling apart. The handles had both broken. It had two large holes in it. Ever time I did laundry, I grumbled because clothes would fall out as I was walking to the washing machine. It was time to say goodbye and get something new.
Goodbye Harry.
Hello Suzanne.
Joyful Moment #201
It’s time for a joyful moment. I love those automatic doors that swing open and shut all on their own. The logical side of me knows there’s a mechanical, scientific reason for how the doors detect your presence which triggers a switch to make them open. The magical side of me still loves the thrill of the doors opening for me. It all stems back to being four years old. I went to the store with my mother and Aunt Becky. The doors automatically opened at the entrance to the store. It was the first time I had ever realized that doors could open all by themselves without me pulling on them. It delighted me so much. I knew as I walked through those magical doors that I was a princess. After all, why else would the doors open for me?
Today I went to the grocery store. The doors opened up for me and I smiled. I must still be a princess.
my 13 day challenge 