Category: Challenge 15: Live in the Moment

Challenge 15: Live in the Moment, Challenge Eleven: Be Brave, Current events, Musings, Uncategorized

Conversations in my head

by my13daychallenge

It’s been a month since I last wrote on my blog.  I’ve been trying to feel my feelings and take a day-at-a-time. Most days I can do that.  Yesterday was not one of those days. I felt very overwhelmed with how quickly the COVID-19 virus has spread around the world. The nervous side of me and the logical side started a debate in my head.

I decided to write down the conversation happening between my ears. It was pretty funny when I reread it later. Hopefully, it will make you laugh as well.

Nervous: The world is falling apart. It’s time to get yourself a really big truck and run over to Costco as fast as you can.

Logical: You don’t have a Costco membership.

Nervous: You’ll get one. And then you’ll buy all the stuff you need for the next 15 years.

Logical:  Um. That’s a lot of stuff. Do you really need a 15 year supply of toilet paper?

Nervous: Yes. Yes, you do. Go right now before they stop all production of everything for the rest of eternity.  Buy some chocolate chips while you’re there too. You might get a boyfriend one of these days. You’ll want to make him some cookies.

Logical: Cookies would be tasty.  You should make some. I’m sure this dream boyfriend will be kind and intelligent.

Nervous:  (cuts off Logical Amee) Yes, he’s all of that and a great kisser. You won’t be getting any kisses though if you’re dead. So, you better go to Costco right now before the world ends.

At this point, I just started laughing.

It was kind of funny that both my logical and nervous sides think chocolate chip cookies are a good idea.  I may be stuck at home practicing the social distancing thing, but at least I can still entertain myself.

How are you holding up?

(By the way, I looked in my pantry. I do have some chocolate chips so if the boyfriend decides to shows up on my doorstep. . . . . . I’m ready.)

Cookie picture

 

 

 

 

 

Challenge 15: Live in the Moment, Grief, Musings, poetry

A Want With No Name

by my13daychallenge

Cleaning the dishes

Suds dripping down my hands

Trying to maintain a sense of normal.

It’s hard.

I feel as empty as this old cup

Needing to be washed.

A want with no name crashes over me

As the water fills to the brim.

I’m a bit of a philosopher and at times my thoughts and their accompanying feelings overpower my very mortal body. Grief is hard work.  I’m grieving right now.  It’s exhausting.  I’m grieving the loss of marriage, my home and the dreams I expected to achieve. I’m starting to see and accept the difficult things related to my former marriage.  I’m grieving that knowledge. It was so much easier to remain in the confusing fog, and believe that things would ultimately get better if I just tried harder.  I know that’s a little cryptic, but this is a public blog. The details aren’t as important as the acknowledgement that I’m grieving.

I miss my neighbors and friends from my old life. I still have their friendships, but it’s not the same. Things feel different. It’s no one’s fault. It can happen when you move to a different part of town. You drift apart. The times you do see your old neighbors and friends are sweet. It’s just not the same as before because you don’t see them every week.  I’m old enough to know it’s not personal. It’s just how life works at times. People come and go in your life. You move on. You change. They change. Sometimes people stay in your life for a season and sometimes they remain your lifelong companion. That’s part of life. It’s just hard to accept all the changes.

It’s a want with no name.

person washing his hand
Photo by Burst on Pexels.com   (I love this image of the water overflowing the cupped hands. You could view it as abundance with more than enough or as feeling completely overwhelmed with the pain. It can be both, and that is what is so cool about this photo. Isn’t art great? I love art. It touches my soul and fills me in ways that normal life never does.  A HUGE THANK YOU to the photographer so I could have a photo for my poem. A HUGE THANK YOU to artists and creators everywhere who enrich the human experience. Go artists! Go creators! We need more of you in the world and less politicians who divide us. I will get off my soap box now.) 

 

 

 

Challenge 15: Live in the Moment, Childhood memories, Musings

The Worst Valentine’s Day Ever (no, it’s not this year)

by my13daychallenge

It’s a strange thing to be single again after years of being part of a couple. It defiantly brings up a lot of feelings. This morning, while putting on my makeup, I had the thought that this was the worst Valentine’s Day of my entire life.

Luckily, I remembered my actual worst Valentine’s Day. It happened when I was six.

The night before my school Valentine’s Day party I discovered small, red bumps all over my stomach. They itched. They seemed to multiply every time I looked at them. I debated if I should tell my mother about the funny looking bumps.  I was afraid she would say I was sick. I was really afraid she wouldn’t let me go to school the next day.

She didn’t let me go to school the next day.  I had the Chickenpox.

No matter how hard I cried, Mom said no school. I even told her that no one would notice I had Chickenpox. My plan was to wear a hat and a mask all day.  Mom still said no school.

  I spent Valentine’s Day at home watching more of those itchy, burning bumps pop up all over my skin. I didn’t get to make the heart wreath, watch the Valentine’s Day movie, do math problems with candy hearts or participate in any of the other fun activities. It was very tragic for a six-year-old.

My brother David did not help the situation. He came home from school, and promptly told me his class party was the best day of his life. I was filled with righteous 6-year-old anger. It wasn’t fair. I thought about yelling at David, but then I had a better idea. My little plan made perfect sense at the time. Mom had told me the Chickenpox were contagious. My brother was annoying me. So, I gave him the longest, hardest hug I could. David wiggled away from my grasp and ran down the hallway. He was screaming the whole time. “Amee touched me. I’m going to get the Chickenpox.”

David got the Chickenpox.

Unfortunately, my plan backfired on me.  David had the Chickenpox over my birthday.  It impacted who could come to my party.

The Chickenpox Valentine’s Day was the worst Valentine’s Day of my entire life.  In between itching my bumps, I cried a lot that day. I somehow survived it.  I’m sure that I will somehow survive this Valentine’s Day too.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Everyone.

heart-picture

 

Challenge 13: Relax, Challenge 15: Live in the Moment, Current events

Overachiever: Sick Day Version

by my13daychallenge

I looked down at my to-do list. In between the muscle aches, pulsing head and coughing spells, I had still managed to craft a plan for my productive day.

I blew my nose for the 20th time and wrote item five on the list.  “Deep clean the upholstery in my car”.

That’s when it hit me. I was sick. Really sick. I had not gone to work, because I had a fever.  I started laughing. It was funny that I thought deep cleaning my car was the best way to heal. The laughing made me cough which didn’t feel so funny.

Even when I’m ill,  I guess I’m a little bit of an overachiever. I did the hard thing and threw my list away. I then wrote a new list. It only had four items on it.

1. Throw yourself down on the couch and watch movies.

2. Don’t put your makeup on or do your hair.

3. Drink a bunch of water.

4. Call Mom for sympathy.

Sick Day Amee

The picture is the proof. I really did just plop down on a coach and relax  without any makeup or fancy hairdo all day. My mother was great at the sympathy.

 

 

Challenge 15: Live in the Moment, Challenge Three: More Vegtables, create

Life Lessons from my Garden

by my13daychallenge

Lesson #1  If you don’t water your garden, it will die.

Lesson #2: If you think about watering your garden, but then don’t do it, it will still die.

Lesson #3: Don’t grow kale if you hate kale.

Lesson #4: The kale will somehow live even though you stopped watering it on purpose. You will be stuck eating kale for days. Reread lesson #3 before buying any more seeds.

And now the really good news…

Lesson #5: You can start a new garden every season.

It’s time to replace the word “garden” with the word “dream”.

Lesson #1  If you don’t water your dream,  it will die.

Lesson #2: If you think about watering your dream, but then don’t do it, it will still die.

Lesson #3 and 4: Life will sometimes give you kale.  Be gentle with yourself. You did the best you could with the knowledge/information/situation you had at the time.

Lesson #5: Remember you can always try again. Tomorrow is a new day.

Here’s a picture of the newest addition to the garden.

New garden picture

And a picture of the kale that just won’t die.

Kale picture

I also have to give a BIG thank you to my Accountant for his help in the garden.

 

 

 

 

 

Challenge 15: Live in the Moment, joyful moment, my13daychallenge, Uncategorized

Holiday Rant

by my13daychallenge

It’s July. This should not be happening at the grocery store.

Candy corn

Way too early!  We are skipping over all the other important holidays like Back to School Popsicle Day on July 25th and National Hot Day on August 26th. What! You have never heard of Back to School Popsicle Day? You poor thing. How did you survive your entire life without eating frozen sugar water on a stick every July 25th?

Popcicyle picture

The candy display really made me think. How often have I missed the present moment, because I was too busy waiting for some future event?  It’s really easy to say that you will be happy when a specific thing happens. I remember doing something like that in college. I told my roommate that my life would be complete when I had a cute boyfriend, a great job and $250 in my checking account. Guess What? Those happy events came and went and somehow my happiness bar had been raised. I didn’t appreciate the moment when I got that cute boyfriend, great job and $250 dollars. It’s okay to have goals and work on them just remember to keep those eyes open. You don’t want to miss the beauty in the every-day moments all around you.

Mother Teresa has an awesome quote that really sums it all up. “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We only have today. Let us begin.”King Solomon in the Old Testament said it this way.  “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8)

Be present. Be here. Live in your season. You can plan for tomorrow but remember to live in today.

(In case you were wondering, National Back-to-School Popsicle Day is my own creation. I made it up as excuse to eat a treat. If any of my dear readers work at the popcycle company, you can send me a royalty check for the free advertising. After all, tomorrow is Send Amee a check day.)

Challenge 15: Live in the Moment

Sometimes it is hard to live in the moment

by my13daychallenge

I’m currently doing a 13 day challenge where I try to live in the moment. Each day I choose one activity and try to be fully present to the task. Today I tried to be present while doing some yard work. 

I did some yard work today. I did a great job being present while pulling weeds in the garden. I watered the lemon and grapefruit trees just fine and took care of some outside tasks.  I felt the sun and just focused on taking care of my yard. I was feeling quite proud of myself on how  attentive, mindful and at peace my little head had been during my hour of yard work.

Then I saw this hideous creature sitting on my back patio like it was taunting me.

Roach picture
It’s dead now. I spent the next hour hunting for its friends. I didn’t find any, but I cleaned my house grumbling the entire time about why we have roaches on Earth and worrying that the roaches are planning  an invasion into my home.
 You can’t mindful when roaches are involved.   It’s all out war and I plan to win.

 

 

Challenge 15: Live in the Moment

Living in the Moment while brushing my teeth

by my13daychallenge

I’m currently doing a 13 day challenge where I try to live in the moment. Each day I choose one activity and try to be fully present.  Today I tried to be present while brushing my teeth. Toothbrush picture

Every day I brush my teeth.  (I bet you are glad to hear that.)  A few years ago, I decided to splurge on myself and buy one of those fancy electronic toothbrushes where you can replace the toothbrush head every month or so.  The toothbrush  makes this awesome buzzing sound as it goes swivelling around in my mouth.  The buzz sounds like the bass of a little jazz song which makes me want to dance. I’ve caught myself swinging my hips a few times and bopping my head to the toothbrush dance. While I brush my teeth, I also have the habit of rehearsing my daily to-do list and criticizing all the facial blemishes and double chin.  Dancing is good, but the second habit isn’t a great way to start and end your day.

As I thought about what to do for my first mindful moment,  my tooth brushing routine seemed like a great place to start. This morning  I just focused on brushing my teeth. No criticizing my face. No to-do list making. Each time a little thought popped in my head about my acne, brown age spot near my eye or the many other things that pop out to me when I look in the mirror,  I would focus on the physical sensations in my mouth. The bristles felt pokey.  I hadn’t noticed that before. The toothpaste is kind of slimy. Who knew toothpaste was slimy? And yes..I still danced because who can’t dance when your toothbrush is buzzing out a song for you.

Martha Graham, a very famous dancer, once said this about movement. “Dance is the hidden language of the soul of the body”.  If that’s true, than my body has found her groove with toothbrush dancing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Challenge 15: Live in the Moment, my13daychallenge

In the Moment

by my13daychallenge

When I was a young teen, my mother decided her kids needed to have more culture in their  lives. She read us a book about the 50 most influential people in the world of art.  After listening to Mom read about each artist,  my siblings and I would suddenly take an interest in becoming whatever we had just studied. We wrote plays after reading about Shakespeare and made little sculptures after learning about Michelangelo. We didn’t have any clay lying around the house so we improvised by taking the bag of sandwich bread from the top of the refrigerator and squashing it until it turned into what we thought was a giant glob of clay. We then made our sculptures.

My dear mother was such a good sport about it. Money was very tight and we had just used the entire loaf of bread.  She didn’t scold us though. She just laughed and then told us that we would have to eat our sculptures the next day with peanut butter for lunch.  My Mom was living in the moment on that day.

It’s easy to forget to live in the moment. Life is busy. I have a to-do list a mile long and it’s easy to worry about tomorrow instead of living today.  For my next challenge, I will pick one activity each day and really stop and enjoy the moment. I will  force myself to be fully present  with the moment and treasure the experience.

 

Will you join me on this challenge?